The quality of your life comes down to the quality of your relationships. That’s what life is. Relationships.
A Relationship is the way in which in any two things are connected and communicate. A Relationship is the way in which in any two things act, regard, and behave between each other. The only real question is the way in which you connect, communicate, act, regard, and behave with others—because you cannot control others. You are only responsible for yourself—and the only real question is whether or not you handle yourself with quality. You will fall short, but you must forgive yourself for your shortcomings, and you must forgive others for their shortcomings. Practice Instant and Infinite Forgiveness. This helps.
Good relationships do not come from mastering others. Good relationships come from mastering oneself.
The funny thing about relationships is that you can tell another person exactly what they need to do to change, heal, and improve their relationships, and they will still screw up their relationships. Why is that? Human Ego. People do not want to change, heal, and improve themselves. People want to change, heal, and improve the other person—otherwise known as “control”. And control is not the way it works. All a person ever really needs is acceptance. Acceptance is the way it works. Appreciation is the way it works. Compromise is the way it works—and that means Sacrifice is the way it works. No one likes to hear it.
The Only Thing that Ruins Relationships is the Selfishness of the Human Ego. Desire. Emotion and Mind.
Desire = Lack. Emotion and Mind = Reaction and Opinion. Do you understand?
Relationship = Communication. A Good Relationship = Good Communication. Good communication is the ability to share feelings, thoughts, and ideas — not bash each other around with emotional reactions to the rigid intellectual opinions of each other’s minds. It’s simply a matter of Openness. Relationships are a reflection of the quality in which you act, regard, and behave towards others. Be kind. Care. Listen.
The Secret to a Good Relationship is to be Selfless and Sensitive to the Other Person’s Needs.
The only problem with that little equation is that we live in a world of ego—and just because you may be working to transcend your own ego—does not mean that the other person is. And what their ego wants and what a person really needs are two entirely different things. You must discern between whether or not you are serving the ego (the illusions) of another or their true intrinsic needs. This is true strength. The world is full of ‘yes men’, but Perception, Power, and Wisdom are within the ability to say, “No”. Nine times out of ten, it’s the things you don’t do that keep you safe and make you successful, because this leaves you with “The One Thing Out of Ten” that is effective and actually works—the proper direction.
Relationships change, evolve, and grow—just like everything changes, evolves, and grows. And that is the natural way of things. And this is the eternal way of things. Life is a series of stepping stones. You either change, evolve, and grow with Warmth, Wisdom, and Understanding—or you wither up, grow cold, and die trying to sustain the illusions of your own ego and mind. Egos fall. Minds crack. Things change. The nature of relationships change. All you have to do is redefine the nature of your relationships, as they do.
Sometimes you have to hold on to others. Sometimes you have to let them go. Wisdom is knowing which and when to do so. Love is allowing others to do what they need to do, even when it hurts. But pain is only an inner contradiction to an opinion. And all you have to do is change your mind and accept things. You have to allow others to go their own way. Love them anyway, and embrace them in your arms, when they come back. And if they never come back, remember the good things. Nothing else matters.
Who destroys people’s relationships? People. People destroy their own relationships. People destroy their own relationships with their own selfishness and insensitivity towards each other. People destroy their own relationships with their own egos, their own dysfunction, their own emotional imbalances, and their own rigid intellectual opinions. They push the blame on everyone and everything else, but in the end—they have no one else to blame—but themselves. You either handle yourself with quality—or you don’t.
Maliciousness. Sadly, this world does contain malicious people (those that cause harm), and the most dangerous relationships are those involving abuse. There is no real way for me to cover relationships, without covering this. If you’re in an abusive relationship—Ditch It. This is the only true answer. Leave.
There are only two alternatives to Relationships—Fix It—or Ditch it—because dysfunction doesn’t work.
Beyond all this surface human stuff, the Deeper Secret Wisdoms of Relationships are in understanding that everything is in Relationship with everything else. This is the underlying nature of reality. You will never be able to see it, if you’re still stuck in the limited human stuff—ego—emotion and mind. Evolve.
Everything in life is in Relationship with everything else in life. Everything is Connected. Everything is in a constant communication. Everything is in a constant state of interacting. The only real question is the quality of the connection, the quality of the communication, the quality of the interaction. Everything is Energy. Everything is a Feeling. And the Quality of Your Life is within the Ability to Feel Everything. The Quality of Your Life is within the Ability to Relate to Everything. Life’s Mystical. Life’s a Relationship.
© 2011 – Khris Krepcik
The Hooded Sage. All Rights Reserved.